The Masculine-Feminine Energy Dance

Presence, Power and Surrender in Your Relationships

“The sizzle and power of love in relationship comes from two people energized by their masculine and feminine forces. Taking the risk to be bold and forceful, as well as open-hearted and fully surrendered, is required for great love and exquisite sexual bliss.”  

During the passionate honeymoon stage, there is a natural rich dance between the masculine and feminine energies. You might recognize that glorious experience as feeling dizzily attracted to your partner, eager to touch, kiss, and merge body, heart, and soul as often as possible, feeling head over heels in love with frequent, hot and sizzling sex! 

After living with someone for a while, the energies flatten out, passion fizzles and sex can become routine or non-existent. You feel bored, unfulfilled, invisible.

If unaddressed, this state might result in your not feeling in love with your partner anymore. You might even feel so lonely and disconnected at this stage that you consider affairs, separation or divorce.  

When relationships are in crisis, when sex, love and passion wane, most people don’t focus on the Masculine/Feminine Energies in their relationship. Heck, you might not even know it's an essential part of a succesful, joyous love life. Hence, you don't explore where you are stuck in your body, what you communicate non-verbally, where you hold back and don't fully express yourself, how you actually contribute to the flatness in your relationship by how you are being.

Instead, you might focus on your communication, you share your feelings and try to talk through your problems. You try to rekindle electricity and connection by talking, talking, and talking some more, about what is missing and not working for you. You end up talking about connection and affection a whole lot more than you actually connect and touch! 

Without attention to the masculine and feminine in each of you, your relationship is destined to feel unfulfilling, disappointing, dull, and empty. This is true in straight, bi or gay relationships. You might even feel doubtful about whether your relationship can ever be revived. 

The coordinated dance between the masculine and feminine is crucial to reviving passion, spark, aliveness and connection in relationship. How present and in-your-power you are, how willing you are to take the lead, how safe you feel to fully surrender, how open and vulnerable you dare to be, and your capability to courageously step into the unknown are essential relationship skills.

When you master these energies, you will be able to embolden the masculine to deep presence and melt the feminine into trusting surrender will skillful ease. You will be able to generate spark quickly and re-ignite your passion. In other words, you feel powerful, energized, alive, and sensual. 

To revive a passionless marriage and fall in love again, a couple must learn to how to master The Energy Dance!

Learning to master the Energy Dance is necessary whether you are in a relationship or not, and whether you're in a straight, gay or bi relationship. Masculine and feminine energies are not equated with male and female bodies. Every person has their own balance.

How confidently you stand in your power and open heart affects how you move in the world – it affects your accomplishments in life, your productivity at work, how effectively you communicate, and how successful you feel. 

The level of presence you are able to hold with a partner directly impacts your level of satisfaction with your intimate relationship.

When you claim and harness your masculine and feminine energies, you become a force to be reckoned with. You are not only more efficient at realizing goals, but you are more effective in your dealings with others. People feel heard, seen and valued in your presence and they begin to seek you out as a valuable resource. You feel more fulfilled and on purpose from your improved ability to contribute to others. You feel more connected, open, trusting and joyful. 

When you master the Energy Dance, your powerful, present, loving stance will radiate out from you and positively up-level every area of your life – work, family, marriage, life!  

"Inside of five minutes at The Energy Dance, my wife magically transformed from looking like a 'critical mother' figure in my eyes to my beautiful lover! Amazing! We've been married for nearly 25 years, and now, when we go on vacation, people think we're on our honeymoon!" 

Mike & Jean

What is the Feminine? The Masculine?

The terms Feminine and Masculine refer to a set of attributes, behaviors, and roles generally associated with gender. Each of these energies has different expressed needs and qualities. While the feminine stereotypically refers to women and the masculine to men, in truth, all of us have both of these energies inside of us to varying degrees. In fact, some women are more masculine than their male counterparts and some men are more feminine. We tend to lead with one energy or the other naturally. When we are off balance or stressed, we put on the mask of the opposite energy.

The Feminine: Qualities and Needs

The feminine needs to be felt, noticed, pursued and understood. She needs to be seen, adored and energetically held by her partner in order to feel safe. She has a desire to feel enfolded in the arms of the protective masculine in order to feel safe to trust and surrender. 

When the feminine doesn’t feel safe, seen or understood, she feels angry, dissatisfied and guarded. She steps out of her soft open heart into the tough masculine, busying herself with activity as she "takes care of business". 

Without her basic needs fulfilled in relationship, she hardens her heart and closes off her body to sex and affection. When wearing the mask of the masculine, she complains, criticizes, and can appear controlling in her unsuccessful efforts to reach out to reconnect.

“I was thinking about how much Mark has changed since we started to work with you guys. I have changed too, but the change in Mark has been so huge and dynamic. It's like all the goodness, clear thinking, sensitivity, thoughtfulness, and beauty was just waiting under the surface to surge forward. Sometimes he'll say something and it takes me a minute to fully take it in because it is so different from his way of being just a year ago. I am SO grateful!” Mary & Mark

The Masculine: Qualities and Needs

The masculine thrives off of appreciation, admiration, praise and respect. He needs to be seen as a successful provider. He wants to be respected as a powerful, competent, good man who works hard to take care of his family. His chief desire is to satisfy his partner. 

When a man feel criticized, controlled or closed off from affection and sex, he withdraws in defeat. He pulls away from the relationship, feeling powerless, ineffective and disrespected. He has the experience that he just can’t win, no matter what he does. 

He puts on the mask of the feminine and appears soft, powerless and disengaged. He is trying so hard to be nice and appropriate and to make his partner happy, that he gives up taking the lead and actually backs off from his partner out of courtesy. This low sense of self-esteem at home transfers to the work world and can negatively impact his productivity.  

“I held myself back with women, believing that the right way to be was soft and sensitive. My relationships were often devoid of sex and passion, and I didn’t know why.

I was shocked at The Energy Dance to discover how much women craved and appreciated my masculine force. Blew my mind! Now I am in a wildly passionate loving relationship where I get to be FULLY myself!”  


 “Un-surrendered women attract un-present men!” David Deida 

“Un-present men attract closed-off, un-surrendered women.” Sonika and Christian 

The Energy Dance In Relationship  

When two people in relationship lose touch with their respective feminine and masculine forces, the life of the relationship begins to suffer. It begins to "flat-line". 

When the masculine backs off from his power and the feminine closes off from her love, the sexual chemistry in relationship dies.  

It's akin to a ballroom dance where no one is leading and no one is following. There is no chemistry, no charge, no invigorating dance, and no electricity. It feels flat, boring, dull, lifeless ...  

When the masculine steps into powerful presence, and the feminine meets the masculine with an open loving powerful heart, just as in ballroom dancing, when one leads and one follows, there is aliveness, movement, deep connection and invigorating energy!  

In other words, it takes two to tango. In real life, who leads and who follows is a constant back-and-forth dance, not pre-assigned by gender.

When a woman feels protected, held, adored and seen by the masculine, she feels safe. She feels safe to relax, soften, and open. This allows her to powerfully surrender, to open her heart and body, to sink into the depth of her love with her partner.  

Similarly, when a man feels respected, appreciated and admired, there is nothing he will not do for his partner. He feels the depth of his protective power and is emboldened to step into deeper presence. He shows up, tends to her and bestows upon her his deep adoration. He energetically holds her with his masculine stance and she is inspired to soften and melt.

How is the Energy Dance in YOUR relationship? 

In your own relationship experience, can you recognize where one of you wants MORE – more intimacy, more togetherness, more connection? 

But your partner is pulling away, trying to get some space and have more freedom? D you recognize this push-pull dynamic from your own life? Where you feel like you either have to pull for everything you want, or you feel pulled on all the time from your partner? 

This is the result of an ineffective dance between the masculine and feminine inside yourself, and inside your relationship. 

When you change this energetic dynamic, you change your relationship! 

The Energy Dance Workshop Addresses Problems Like These: 

  • You spend a ton of energy fighting to get what you want (the push-pull dynamic, or "power struggles")
  • Even though you might still have a "functional" relationship, where you take care of chores, kids, mortgage, what-not, but there's no life, no sizzle. Sex feels like routine or you don't bother at all.  
  • Your man isn’t fully present and there with you 
  • Your woman isn’t open and satisfied no matter what you do 
  • Lack of passion and aliveness in your relationship or your own life
  • You're baffled by what men or women really want 
  • Feeling unsure of yourself as a man or a woman 
  • You don’t feel safe to fully surrender and open
  • You lack the confidence or "umph" to go for what you want in life
  • You talk and process, and talk and process to try and figure out your problems
  • You talk more about sex or connection than you actually HAVE sex or connection You 

The Energy Dance training is designed to breathe life back into you and your relationship. 

At the training, the feminine will discover what it means, and what it takes, to powerfully surrender in love to her partner. 

The masculine will learn how to energetically and physically hold the feminine, to be totally and powerfully present with his partner. He will learn how easy it is to fully satisfy his partner just by being himself

Specific tools and topics include

  • Replace “flat-lining” or power struggle with dynamic sexual tension and attraction 
  • Seriously spice up your relationship
  • Act confidently with the full power and presence of the masculine and reap the rewards 
  • Eliminate endless processing
  • Getting your needs met fast without words 
  • How to talk to a man so he’ll listen and feel respected 
  • How to have a woman feel adored and wanted 
  • End the push-pull game 
  • Short-cut method to access your power using your body 
  • How to lead with presence 
  • What men and women really want and need from each other 
  • How to surrender and open your heart with power, grace and love 
  • Bringing your full power into your relationship, without being bossy or controlling
  • And lots more …


What: The Energy Dance Level 3 virtual workshop
When: The next dates will be published here. Check back here or send us an email on
Where: Your living room, bedroom, or anywhere you like (via Zoom).

The Energy Dance workshop is offered at $597 per couple or any two people.

Note, as there are many physical body-based activities, you need to be in the same space as your partner for this workshop.

You can contact us to ask about partial scholarships, if necessary.


  • Is this for couples? Singles? Everyone? Yes, it's for couples, singles, and everyone. You do partnered exercises with each other at home. If you attend with a friend, you need to be in the same location to do exercises together.
  • I'm scared to open up, will this be safe? Being scared to open up is one of the best reasons to attend. Yes, it'll be safe, and we will stretch and challenge you inside a safe container. Being in a safe and structured environment is a good way to practice. 
  • Can one weekend make a difference? Yes, absolutely. Whereas we can't guarantee any specific outcome, we do know that hundreds of individuals and couples have had major transformative breakthroughs from this weekend training (see what people say around this page and below here). We do know marriages have been turned around. We do know individuals have cracked their hearts open and new relationships have begun as a direct result. 
  • Is this masculine/feminine energy "thing" really that important? Well, only if you care about aliveness, sizzle, confidence, and sexual spark. That might sound snarky, but it's dead-on. You can probably "get by" and "take care of business" without any attention to this energy dynamic, but if you want aliveness, power, and growth in your life, yeah, it's absolutely mandatory. 

What People Say ... 

I've done personal growth/transformational work for over 3 decades and have been a practitioner in the healing arts for over 25 years, facilitating a parallel sort of work for the last 10. I experience Sonika and Christian as the best of the best; it really doesn't get any better than them! If you want more in your relationship, even with yourself, they bring a very sweet, clear, very accessible avenue for deep, fast, lasting results. I completely endorse their work and highly recommend working with them!” Laura 

I just have to thank you two so much for what you have done for me. Everything in my life is just beyond anything I could have imagined before working with you! I am always joyful, grateful and peaceful. I am so freakin' happy, sometimes I feel as if my heart is going to burst out of my chest! My relationship with Joe just keeps getting better and better. Everyday I am so grateful for the deep love we share and how EASY it all is. Our love grows stronger everyday! You guys have given me the "easy" button for my life. I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!" Paige 

Since the Energy Dance, I feel that someone handed me a key ring with a bunch of keys I never had, and with them I am unlocking mysterious doors to good communication and a deeper intuition about what the people around me need and want, including my partner, and how to give it to them. I feel so grateful!” Rich  

I had an amazing transformational breakthrough! I have always thought everyone else around me weren't available and present with me, and what I got to see is that I'M not present, I'M not available. So I'm am going to be more present now!” Deborah  

“I got a real experience of what it’s like to hold the container for a woman, energetically and emotionally. It wasn't just academics, I actually DOWNLOADED the experience. I GOT the experience of what I was called to be in relationship. It also changed my relationship to my own needs. I now embrace my needs without shame. I don't hold her accountable for my needs. And I ask for what I need without blame or shame.” Will 

“The Energy Dance weekend was very powerful and liberating to me on so many levels. I discovered that when I am fully present and in my vertical power, I am free ... Free to choose, free to be and free to love. And I also discovered how much intimacy can be created in surrender. I awoke this morning in a place of blissful joy and closeness with my partner that I haven't felt in a very long time. Energy is definitely moving!" Dora

“The Energy Dance was amazing! We got so much out of it. It was great to see how our pull/resist pattern was futile, and how stepping in is a turn-on! Thank you for taking this dead relationship and breathing life back into it!” Vicki

“Of all the workshops I've taken in my whole life, this was the best one. It just brings tears to my eyes. Ray

“I feel like I have been making love all weekend. Thank you both for the incredible opening experience." Ray

For any further questions, you are also welcome to call our office directly at 530-878-3893 or email us at 

About Sonika & Christian

Sonika & Christian have developed a uniquely practical and positive approach to relationship work, a “funner” alternative to more traditional approaches. 

They have designed and teach a profoundly effective system for dealing with conflicts, re-creating your relationship, breathing fire into your sex-life, and freeing you from a painful, stuck relationship experience.

They believe very strongly that the process of improving your life and relationship should feel fun, light-hearted and intimate, starting NOW, and not after years of digging through emotional garbage. 

And they really enjoy the energetic dance of the masculine and feminine! 

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