When sex is great, there’s nothing like it. It fills us with vitality, love and deep connection with our partner. When sex is juicy and frequent, it’s like all is right with our world, our bodies feel youthful and alive, and our spirits seem to dance. It's so gooooood!
Yet, sex can also be the most painful, embarrassing, hurtful experience in our entire relationship history, and because so many of us have had less-than-wonderful sexual experiences, our current sex life is colored by our pasts.
We all know the experience of “life happens”. It might have been hot and steamy when we first got together but we get busy, right? There are so many chores and responsibilities that seem more pressing that sex and pleasure. Family, kids, chores, work, career, mortgages, aging parents, retirement planning, health challenges, it just never stops.
Since we’re responsible adults, we deal with the logistics, make sure the kids have healthy lunches, finish our work projects, and take care of business. Somehow we forget that we’re lovers, not just roommates who work together.
For a while, that might be workable. You might still squeeze in sex here and there. You find a “formula” that works, like kissing for a few minutes, maybe some oral for a few minutes, intercourse and done! Then you have sex that same way every time. Your sex becomes predictable, boring, forced, or simply non-existent.
Perhaps you find yourself justifying the lack of sexual satisfaction, telling yourself things like …
“We’re just so busy.”
“Who needs that much sex anyway?”
“What’s the big deal – it’s only 3 minutes every week.“
“Sex is overrated.”
“It’s not that important … and besides, we still love each other.”
Sex matters. Not just because it’s super pleasurable and fills your entire system with beneficial hormones, but because it keeps your relationship strong and connected. Spend a few minutes searching on the internet and you'll find host of well-documented health benefits for women, men, and couples; such as lower blood pressure, better immune system, better heart health, lower risk of heart disease, decreased depression and anxiety, and immediate, natural pain relief, just to name a few.
The renowned sex expert Dr. Kerner said,
"Sex seems to be rapidly falling to the bottom of America’s to-do list; but, in my experience, when couples stop having sex their relationships become vulnerable to anger, detachment, infidelity and, ultimately, divorce.
I believe that sex matters: It’s the glue that keeps us together and, without it, couples become ‘good friends’ at best, or ‘bickering roommates’ at worst.”
Has that ever happened in your relationship? Becoming "good friends" or "bickering roommates" instead of lovers?
But time out! That’s not what anyone’s going for. If you’re anything like the thousands of couples and individuals we’ve coached and educated around sex, you want a thriving, healthy, vibrant, intimate, safe, fun and sexy sex life, right?
A healthy sex life is about so much more than how many times we have intercourse. We humans thrive on touch and physical affection, and if it’s lacking between you, there’s a very sharp limit to how deep you’ll ever go in your relationship! In the workshop, men and women get to explore what exactly sex provides for them and their relationship, and when you hear what they say, it's going to blow your mind and melt your heart. It does for us, even after leading the workshop for over 10 years!
We’d like to invite you to blast open your idea of what is possible in sex. We want you to know that no matter what the current state of your sex life, you can make it pop. We can’t tell you how many people have said, “WOW! I had no idea!”, after they participated in this workshop.
Here's a real-life example from a married couple, Marlene and Danny (not their real names, and not their picture, to protect their privacy). They've been married for 15 years, have three kids, and they hadn't had sex for 9 years before this workshop. After the weekend, she sent us this:
“Thank you for a wonderful workshop. I feel like I am walking on air! Not just because of the sex, but the breakthrough in our relationship. Danny had an epiphany about why sex matters (hallelujah) which is where we were stuck and were not communicating. The closeness and intimacy generated in the workshop led us to discussing some things that influenced the dynamic in our relationship overall. I feel like I am falling in love with my husband all over again and that is priceless and precious.”
On Sunday morning of the workshop, they showed up glowing and refreshed because they'd made love on the night before, for the first time in nine years.
Another time, we had a young couple attend The Possibilities of Sex. They loved each other dearly, they treated each other with the utmost respect and loyalty … but their sex life was non-existent!
They told themselves that “We don’t go there”, and that, “We just don’t feel it”, but that it was “OK, we still love each other”.
This is an example of how we justify the lack of sex and intimacy and minimize the importance of it. For this young couple, it turned out they really did want to have sex and physical pleasure, but were terrified to examine that part of their relationship and terrified to admit that they weren’t “turned on” by one another.
After the activities we do on Sunday morning of the workshop, where they got to practice how to create spark on purpose, the guy said, “I’m not sure we’ll make it to the car!”
One of the key insights we’ve discovered many years ago is that sexual energy, spark, sizzle, and arousal can be generated at will, anytime. These feelings aren’t just there or not there all by themselves. In this workshop, you’ll learn how to generate that spark whenever you like!
Sex issues in your relationship.
There are so many important issues that arise around sex, including …
Over the years, we have guided couples and individuals around all these issues, and we know that’s it’s supremely important to cultivate a safe space to talk about sex openly and without fear or shame.
No matter where you are in your sex life, you can take it to the next level, and you will get value from this course. You may have sex twice a day and just want it to be more intimate and varied. If that is the case, you will learn some hot, inspiring new tools for profoundly deepening intimacy and pleasure.
Or maybe you haven’t touched each other for ten years and have no idea how to start up again. Not to worry. We will show you how start gently, and fully clothed, in a completely safe manner to reintroduce intimate touch into your relationship.
One couple who came to the workshop had been married for 20-some years. Their physical intimacy had withered a long time ago. They didn’t feel ready to jump right into sex, so we showed them how to start from where they were.
They are now, in their own words, “addicted to our pleasure sessions”, and their physical intimacy is safely deepening week by week.
Brian and Sheri had a major breakthrough: “We came home and made love for several hours. After a 10-year dry spell we’re finally back on track and all excited about having love in our life again"
Specific Tools and Topics Include:
In this workshop, you will begin to unravel the crazy sex messages that prevent you from being your authentic self in sex and discover a fun new way to express yourself freely in lovemaking.
You will learn what it means to take full responsibility for your sexual pleasure and release yourself from the burden of reading minds.
You will shift from "getting" or "performing" and "achieving a goal" to being present to pleasure and energy flow in the moment. You will re-claim your body, your right to sexual pleasure and full self-expression.
In short, no matter the current state of your sex life, you will take it to new heights!
Note: This course includes no nudity or sex, though sexually explicit educational videos may be shown.
The Possibilities of Sex is a weekend training, conducted via Zoom, which means you attend from anywhere in the world, from the safe comfort of your kitchen table, couch or bedroom.
Saturday and Sunday, November 6-7, 2021 (9:00AM - 5:00PM on Saturday + optional evening program; 9:00 AM - 1:00 PM on Sunday). Details are sent to you when you register.
We use a mixture of lecture, individual reflection, paired exercises, and various breakout activities. You do exercises with your partner at home, or from separate locations, if necessary. If you are single, we invite you to bring a friend to do exercises with you. Or contact us for help with this.
Our work engages your head, heart, hands, and body. In other words, we employ your logic, reach your heart, and give you practical actions to embody the new techniques. Add to our experiential approach the mastermind consciousness that is available in a group of like-intentioned people, and you are destined to reap the benefits from our multi-dimensional, uplifting learning method.
The Possibilities of Sex workshop is offered at $597 per couple or any two people.
You can contact us to ask about partial scholarships, if necessary.
Sonika & Christian have developed a uniquely practical and positive approach to relationship work, a happier alternative to more traditional approaches.
They have designed and teach a profoundly effective system for dealing with conflicts, re-creating your relationship, breathing fire into your sex-life, and freeing you from a painful, stuck relationship experience.
They believe very strongly that the process of improving your life and relationship should feel fun, light-hearted and intimate, starting NOW, and not after years of digging through emotional garbage.
Sonika and Christian make a point of keeping their own sex life fresh, alive, fun, and deeply connected. Sex matters!
Read a fuller story about them here ...